Getting Real – Again

OK, so here we are…5 days from what might actually be a real retirement and I’m taking some time to contemplate it.  No, deep down I want to be done with being personally invested in the issues of an organization that is not personally invested in me or is even a person.  I understand the business of business and the relationship between the organization and employee – it is just a business relationship that either party can cancel at anytime.  But many of us lose sight of that and become absorbed in the issues of the day and take them on as our own, when in realty if the beer truck scenario strikes you down the organization won’t feel a blip in the force.  And that is OK, in the social sense, but we need to be real about it to ourselves.

I am pretty hypocritical in that little lecture because I have fallen into the trap of thinking I’m indispensible to my employers over the years.  Now the stress that trap causes is about to come to an end; an end I have dreamed about for years.  Now that it is close enough to taste I will admit it is a bit unnerving.  Probably because of the key unknown – what the hell am I going to do with myself now.  Darryl always told me; “You can’t go fishing every day.”  My reply was alway; “Watch me!”  The scary thought is, maybe she is right – shit!

So today I started hedging my bets.  I am still going to retire next week, but submitted an inquiry to a company that issues certifications for among other things, auditors.  Anyone who cyberstalks me on LinkedIn knows that for a short time I was an independent contract auditor in the environmental scheme.  It was probably the most enjoyable job I ever had and came after my first “retirement” at 55.  Auditing was a planned career change but was cut short by the damned Great Recession, so in 2009 I had to go back to working for The Man (and move 3,000 miles).

So here we are in the Pacific Northwest 8 years later about to start another chapter in our lives – and we have had more than our fair share of chapters.  It occurs to me that what I have always been is a planner, of sorts.  Always looking to what was ahead of me and trying to prepare, be it report, audit, project, whaterver.  That is great, I suppose, in the work environment but it tends to have one working on the future and missing what is happening now – living in the now.  Well, that is not going to work in retirement because it would be foolish to waste any of the “now” when there is so little left, relatively.  So, while I will still be planning things like camping and fishing trips, I am going to try and learn how to live in the moment.  Will let you know how it is going as I do a better job keeping this blog current – wish me luck!



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